Life and Death

I know I shouldn't be blogging at this point of time. I should be studying for my EOS, or maybe I should be sleeping.

But this thought about life and death still bothers me a lot. Maybe I should pen it down somewhere.

What exactly is life? Life in this world. What is the meaning and purpose of life in this world? Is it just a temporary place of transit for us before moving on to our afterlife? Or are we just here because of the cycle of karma (cause and effect)?

Even if we're just here because of our religion, whatever life and death mean in our respective religion, but what's our purpose and role here in this life?

I personally think that everyone is kind and pure by nature. Everyone is willing to help each other and SELFLESS shouldn't be just a term to describe a minority group of people. And hence, our basic role in life should be to help as many people as we can, making life easier for each other, because it doesn't hurt a bit to go the extra mile helping other people but it does mean a lot when you know that your help has brought the person some hope and comfort.

But when things happen, when calamity strikes, it seems like people start becoming more selfish and they can even choose not to bother about their own relatives. In this materialistic world today, it is truly heart-wrenching to see people being so selfish and self-centred. People whom I once thought were kind-hearted and selfless are no longer like what I thought.

Maybe I've been too naive. Too silly. Maybe I've been living in my own bubble all along, thinking that everything in this world is beautiful, and everyone in this world is kind by nature. 人性本善？人性本恶？I really don't know. Really can't imagine how shocking I felt when I start realising and seeing the ugly side of humanity. If this is part of growing up, I really don't want to grow up... Why can't everyone be kind to each other? Whats wrong with helping others? I really don't understand...

I really hope that we can live our life to the fullest, not just by fulfilling our material desires, but also by making our life a meaningful one. I would want to dedicate my life to helping people around me, not worrying about going the extra mile, as long as its within my abilities. I would want to be a compassionate and selfless doctor who treats my patient as a whole person, not just giving drugs based on their history sheets. I don't want to live a life of a robot, who looks for monetary gains all the time. I want a meaningful life, a life that I live by helping people out, saving, changing and impacting people's lives. The little things in life will make a lot of difference. Even if its just a smile, it will brighten up someone's gloomy day. Just lend a helping hand whenever you can because you won't know how much will that little gesture mean to another person. If everyone is willing to lend each other a helping hand, the world will be a better place, isn't it?

What is death? I'm in no position to talk about this. But, I know that its something that everyone is fearful of. After being posted in the forensic department for three weeks, I thought that I could handle death pretty well. But it seems like, I don't. I'm not as tough as I thought I am. I once thought that I should be strong for the sake of my family members. But it seems like I'm the one who's crying more. I need to be emotionally tough in the medical profession, but then again, whats the point of being an emotionless doctor who gets so immuned (or even bored) of dealing with death. That's really scary.

Back to death. Its scary. It means putting everything down and moving on to a place that we all have no idea whether it really exists. It means leaving all your loved ones behind. It means a final GOODBYE. It's GOODBYE forever. Its emotionally tough for the one who's leaving as well as for the family members. Its something really hard to accept and the feeling of knowing that you'll be gone forever is definitely very daunting and scary. Unimaginable. All the regrets and all the things undone. All the future plans that can no longer be executed. Really unimaginable.

Everyone can just leave the world at any point of time. No one knows when it'll be our last GOODBYE to our friends and family. It sounds really scary, but its the truth. Maybe we should never live with regrets. Tell your friends and family how much you love them. Tell them how much they truly mean to you. Try your best to spend as much time with them as possible. Tell them you're sorry if you've ever done them wrong. Do and say everything you can and make sure you have no regret for the day. Because no one can guarantee that we'll be up and awake the next day.

Its very sad and hard to accept when you know that your relative might bid the FINAL GOODBYE any moment. Its even sadder when you know that you can't be with him during his last few moments.

"I really can't bear to see you go, and I really regret not spending more time with you. Don't worry, we'll all help to take care of your kids. We'll love them very much. 别担心，你就安心的放下，安心的走吧。"

I will miss you a lot.